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Monday, August 31, 2009
12:04 AM school's starting tmr ! gosh . 7 months just flew by like that :O i still remember telling cindy that i could work till end of august anytime , anyday and its 31st august tmr ! i don't feel particularly excited neither do i feel scared . just seems like another day to me . working every night at wheelock next week. i think i'm mad . i think i really will get sick . i think i'm not ready to start school . i think i need a break from work . we'll see how my body holds up next week :) i need money :( You make me smile like the sun Fall out of bed, sing like bird Dizzy in my head, spin like a record Crazy on a Sunday night You make me dance like a fool Forget how to breathe Shine like gold, buzz like a bee Just the thought of you can drive me wild Ohh, you make me smile [ i need a break from you ] Sunday, August 30, 2009
11:21 AM samantha's gonna fall sick again soon :p .. Wednesday, August 12, 2009
6:49 PM helpless .. that's how i feel these few weeks .. slowly one by one , you all are falling sick .. there's not enough people to take shifts there because you all have school .. so there's bound to be some who sacrifice their time and energy and studies .. while i'm stuck here at cs ROTTING .. because of me , there's always someone who needs to be there to fill in my shifts .. i feel so bad , so helpless .. there's nothing i can do except watch you all get more tired by the day .. how i wish i can split myself in two .. never thought my heart could feel any worse when tps closed but alas , i proved myself wrong .. Monday, August 03, 2009
12:00 AM i'm sorry .. there WAS something wrong .. there WAS something going through my mind that day , today and will go through it for a long time .. the reason i kept saying it was nothing was because YOU are the reason why i'm feeling and acting this way .. how do you expect me to say it to you ? the feelings are getting worse .. now everytime somebody mentions you and tom , my face turns such a dark shade i'm surprised it hasn't stuck yet .. did you know i felt like punching jiayang for saying what he said just now ? i wanted so desperately to ask you whether what he said was true or not but alas .. a coward i am .. did you notice on that day , i got even quieter after you mentioned that you and wanyee went to find him that night you ran away from home ? did you notice that i didn't want to look you in the eyes lest you should see something dying slowly inside me ? did you notice that i didn't want to sit too near you , should you be able to hear my heart shattering .. and to think , i waited till around 2.30 + to get a msg from wanyee saying you still didn't want to come my house .. i went to bed ANGRY because i waited for nothing !! i went to bed ANGRY because i couldn't do anything to help you when you needed company the most .. i went to bed ANGRY but mostly just at myself .. you don't know but you've already found out how i really feel about you .. i really don't want to destroy the friendship we have now but .. this jealousness .. this running away .. I WANT IT TO STOP !! the more i run , the more i want to be with you !! do you really think i have got nothing to do besides going all the way down to sgh and accompanying you for 45 minutes ? do you think i will wake up at 5am in the morning just to wake you up if you were just some friend to me ? i wouldn't even bother helping you with the batam trip preparations given the choice .. heck i wouldn't even GO !! i was happy till he came along .. pissed me off so much that's why i kinda yelled at wanyee some more .. i've been talking to riyan about the trip and she's right .. either i choose to enjoy it or i choose to ruin it .. by enjoying i have to control my emotions , swallow that green monster that always comes out whenever he's near you , and basically act dumb .. |
me
sAmAnthA"best day ever" vocal group + manager and poor victim - piggy cubey rabbit snowman and turtle gayeygays of 4H 2005 - sunnygay *laoda* cowygay snowygay punygay cubeygay chewygay and munnygay noob family - papa mama jiejie meimei and bf DCP 24 CHC N194 tiong bahru and wheelock TPS BITC simply wang taggies
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