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Friday, January 09, 2009
7:01 PM saw you the first time but you didn't see me .. i didn't say hi to you because i thought you would walk over to my booth .. you didn't .. saw you a second time and this time you were very near my booth so i didn't say hi again .. who knew you would just walk out of the door and not come over to the food technology side .. finally when i had given up looking for you .. there you were walking down the steps with your friend in tow .. i thought that God must want me to meet you that's why He put so many chances in front of me .. i stared and finally ran after you to tap you on the arm .. i'm not sure if you recognised me or if you even knew me anymore but i'm proud of myself that i could go up to you and smile to you .. just hope that you're doing well and may i add that you look wonderful in that dress :) .. working on the same shift as you today .. those feelings didn't come back until some moment during the day but i don't remember when and why .. i guess it was when they started talking about you that the pangs returned .. do you have someone you liked ? do you have a boyfriend ? they asked and i had no choice but to laugh along with them .. but inside i was feeling weird .. i couldn't really hear what you were talking about with marilyn , jing and chingyee but somehow i could feel it .. i stood a distance away and absorbed myself into the surroundings not wanting to hear anything .. not wanting to say anything .. i really wanted to know but i asked myself whether that knowledge would really help or break me .. God help me .. help me forget these feelings .. Jesus lend me your strength of forgiveness .. Holy Spirit guide me to learn to love God more and not to dwell on the matters of the heart anymore .. i do not want to hurt myself with these wrong feelings anymore .. forgive me God for letting these feelings come rushing back .. i am not strong enough .. |
me
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