- gayeygay -

2011-03-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

"first, homosexuality is not a lifestyle.
it's who i happen to be.
second, i didn't choose to be attracted to women.
i just am.
did you make a choice to be attracted to women?
was it during puberty?
when you graduated from high school?
was it a question on the SATs?
no.
homosexuality isn't a choice any more than heterosexuality is.
and i know this because why on earth would anyone choose to be gay?
why would i want to put myself through all the bullying and name-calling and physical abuse i've faced?
why would i want to constantly be looked down at and stereotyped by people like you?
why would i willingly pick a lifestyle, as you call it, that's such an uphill battle?"
- Vanessa (Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult)

2011-02-19T23:56:00.003+08:00

you.
treat my words like the wind.
you.
treat me like your alarm clock.
you.
take me for granted.
you.
force me to be worried about you then brush it off like it's nothing.
you.
scold me in your blog and all because i cared about you.
you.
put yourself into situations that make my heart ache for you.
you.
make use of me and don't think i don't know it.
you.
who i treat like a little sister.
you.
whom i'm beginning to hate.
you.
who i actually had feelings for the last time. [ridiculous]
you.
better start realizing what you're doing to yourself.
because.
i'm starting to stop caring.
because.
it's a waste of my time.
because.
it's a waste of my energy.
because.
i'm not her.
you.
don't know what your actions mean to me.
but.
i don't care anymore :)

2011-01-28T00:10:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry.

[ if by some off chance you ever do see this, i still hope we can be friends ]

2011-01-15T02:25:00.002+08:00

Question: why are you so crazy over SNSD ?!!
Answer:
because.
there's nobody to replace that hole in my heart.
that hole that's been getting bigger with each one.

stupid right?
spending so much money on a group of girls who don't even exist in my world.
haha.
so laughable samantha.
so pathetic.
but at least i have something to look forward to everyday.
for now.
humour me people :)

do you know that whenever i see your name pop up on my facebook page, my heart STILL skips a beat ?
wow ..
to think that you still had that kind of effect on me.
i really thought i was over you.
ever since i found the nine of them.
but.
maybe not yet.
but i will.
after all.
this isn't my first time.

but i sure as hell hope it's the last -_-

scared.
afraid.
that's what i am.
i don't want my heart torn into pieces again.
gets harder to let go each time.
because i'm putting in more effort, time, money and feelings with each one.

maybe i'll just chase them till i'm old.
at least they won't let me down.
at least they won't disappoint me.
at least they won't play with my heart.
but alas they're just
NOT REAL.

2010-12-24T14:42:00.002+08:00

it's Christmas tmr.
19 years of spending it with my family.
only 1 year where i spent it with someone "special".
this year's no difference.
i had hoped it would be.
but.
it's just another Christmas, just another year.
will it ever be different again i wonder.
i know.
"there's someone out there for me."
that's what everyone says.
that's what i want to believe.
but.
maybe i'm just a big coward inside.
after 4 times of failing.
i'm afraid of falling again.
too broken to be considered whole.
that's what i am.
well that's that.
my few minutes of depression.
haha.
no more :)

[ it's my mistake ]

2010-11-07T01:44:00.003+08:00

FCUK THIS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M STILL BOTHERED ABOUT YOU.
I LET YOU GO.
I LET EVERYTHING GO.
BUT WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU STILL COME BACK AND DO THIS TO ME ?!
I KNOW I'VE GIVEN UP.
I KNOW I HAVE NO CHANCE.
BUT WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU STILL AFFECT ME SO ?!
WHY DOES YOUR MSG MEAN SO MUCH TO ME ?!
WHY DO I ACTUALLY FEEL HAPPY WHEN I SEE YOUR MSG ?!
WHY DO I STILL WANT TO SEE YOU ?!
WHY DO I DREAM OF YOU ?!!!
I THOUGHT I'D SHUT YOU OUT OF MY HEART, OUT OF MY LIFE, OUT OF MY SOUL.
apparently not.
i'm now even further behind than i thought.
this sucks.
i wanna run FAR FAR FAR FAR away from you.

I WANT THE OLD ME BACK !!
I'LL GET THROUGH THIS.
JUST WATCH ME.

2010-10-13T02:34:00.002+08:00

it's 2.35 am.
it's been nearly three months.
and i'm still here.
thinking.
waiting.
hoping.
i know.
i'm just being an idiot.
a big, fat idiot.
you've made it crystal clear to me.
and yet here i am.
unable to move on or go back.
i'm angry at myself.
angry for not being able to move on.
angry for not being able to stop caring.
angry for not being able to forget.
angry for not being able to block you from my mind.
angry for not being able to chase you from my heart.
i hate the me i am now.
because i promised myself to stop the messages.
i promised myself to stop thinking.
i promised myself to stop caring.
i promised myself to stop.
and guess what.
i broke all of them.

every time i thought i managed to get over it.
you do or say something to throw me back to square one.
there's more that i want to say.
but for the first time.
i don't know how to put them into words.

[ if me being happy makes you happy.
then i'd lie.
till my teeth hurt and my eyes tear ]

2010-08-20T21:39:00.002+08:00

new job.
orchard central.
heaven's loft.
part time pastry chef.
love it :)
come visit me.

[ it's as if i can only have one good thing in my life at any given time ]

2010-08-14T01:39:00.001+08:00

忘了有多久
再沒聽到你
對我說你最愛的故事
我想了很久
我開始慌了
是不是我又做錯了什麼
你哭著對我說
童話裡都是騙人的
我不可能是你的王子
也許你不會懂
從你說愛我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
我願變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局

2010-07-19T00:31:00.001+08:00

STUCK AT SIMPLY WANG.
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
WILL SOMEBODY CALL ME ALREADY ?!?!?!?!
although got pay rise.
but.
I'M BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD :(
GOSH.

2010-07-11T00:55:00.002+08:00

i never realised.
how many times i could sigh in a day.
how often i would twiddle my fingers together.
how distracting my handphone could be even if it wasn't ringing.
tired.
really tired.
-_-

2010-06-26T23:19:00.002+08:00

21 june: MON

totally rot at home. but peiqi and felicia came around 9pm to play MAHJONG !!!!! wooots. finally. after so long !! wahaha. i won ~ :p

22 june: TUE

rot at home again. really regret take off.

23 june: WED

rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. but evening went cathay to meet meiqi and meixuan :) ate at aston finally. not bad :) cheap and good HAHA. watched toy story 3 with them. omg laugh until stomach wanna turn inside out. worth it. went daiso to find their lunchbox. lol funny lah both of them. ACT CUTE. then home with meiqi.

24 june: THU

roooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. went vivo to meet limin and jingjing for dinner. the rest not free haiz. sad. not i anti social mah. timing buay gum :( ate earl swensens with them. met tabitha ~ then went giant to find my baking ingredients. three of us like hunting for treasure -_- look everywhere still can't find XD home ~

25 june: FRI

woke up early to make brownie. woahhhhhhhhhh. not enough sleep. had dinner at lot 1 and a long walk around cck area. gosh walk some more i really familiar liao -_- supper with carene. had a talk with her. hope she figures out what she really wants. don't like/want to see her like that. home ~ [ eeyore :p ]

26 - 27 june: SAT - SUN

work work work.

2010-06-20T00:34:00.003+08:00

17 june: THU

stayed at home to watch show before going out at night. dinner at harbourfront's white dog cafe plus a talk on the rooftop and a long train ride home XD i'm happy haha.

18 june: FRI

supposed to meet grace in the afternoon but changed to evening. so went to find clkl at outram. acc her till she went for work. finally i know where keen on crepes is. TSK. ehhhhh not bad ah the crepe that riyan made for me :) and dunno who say i very orange in the end ownself even more orangey than me. haha. went to meet grace and jingmin for dinner then attended cg. after dunno how long. met carene, wanyee and riyan for mac at cck after that. omg. money fly ~

19 june: SAT

work. with peiqi finally :)

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY FELICIA SEET XIAO WEI :)

20 june: SUN

work.

2010-06-16T16:30:00.002+08:00

14 june: MON

stayed at home till evening. met wanyee and carene for dinner at a korean restaurant opposite beauty world. ehhhhhh not bad leh. but dunno why. all of us eat le all tio stomachache O.O haiz stunning day. talked till 12 and wanyee fetched me home ~ whee ~ finally can sit bike again !! happy ~

15 june: TUE

basic pastry practical exam. went into exam room with no idea how to do anything. so just copy dajie. lucky same table. but in the end. HAHA NOT NICE nvm lah. pass can liao !! XD

15 june :)

16 june: WED

staying at home whole day today. gonna just watch finish my glee. finally. haha. so cold ~

2010-06-13T00:45:00.003+08:00

7 june: MON

woahhhhhh. one whole day out with clkl. morning went to pick her up then sit next to her for one hour to do her pedicure at bpp O.O testing my patience. not even 15 minutes later, chip her toenail -_- goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ate sakae sushi at wheelock with felicia ~ happy ~ then watched shrek 4 at cineleisure. woah. finished around 920 and went to visit lingling !! finally found her tsk tsk. she hiding. then somebody suddenly hungry. omg. looking for food at the basement of ion at 10 plus is stunning -_- still got pancake and mochi to eat i tio shock liao haha. in the end STILL hungry. wah lao. lucky xin wang still open ah. left orchard around 11 plus. and resort world called in the afternoon and asked for interview =D

8 june: TUE

met felicia and zack for interview at RWS. wooooooooooooooo stressed. 3 chefs interviewed us seperately. omg sia. heart wanna jump out. haha. then toured around RWS after that. ate ramen after meeting up with lip shie and huat :) simple dinner with them happy le haha. went to vivo rooftop to talk. phone spoil :( ruin my mood. haiz.

9 - 13 june: WED - SUN

work. wed night supper with carene and riyan. reach home around 5. thu night supper with jiaying. reach home around 2. fri night slept late. sat night sleep late. lalalalala ~ weekdays off next week ~ i'm gonna enjoy :)

RWS faster call :(

2010-06-06T02:49:00.002+08:00

31 may: MON

couldn't drag myself out of house today to go anywhere. feeling sick so stayed at home and just watch you're beautiful till i fell asleep. i like :) haha.

1 june: TUE

work.

2 june: WED

in the end. still go for my graduation. but i don't regret :) finally can take photo with dajie i happy liao ~ can wear chef cap i happy liao ~ haha. now i officially have two diplomas. what alot of money flying away ~ XD watched prince of persia and went party world after graduation. woooooooooooooooooo money money ~ but really had fun with them. will be hard to meet up le :(

i need a full time job !! i rather die then work as service crew for the rest of my life :'(

3 - 6 june: THU - SUN

work work work work ~ gosh. customers getting more and more brainless. i'm really going to bite off their heads one day. ONE DAY. i'm finally recovering ! but still coughing like mad.

2010-05-31T01:43:00.004+08:00

26 - 30 may: WED - SUN

work. sian. boring. tired. still sick !! even though went to see doctor on thu. spent $50 on medicine and STILL sick !! what sia !! can't take it le. gonna give two weeks notice on 1 june. i don't care if i have no full time job. at least i'm not DYING. oh yea. thanks WONG YOKELING and YEE JIAYING for coming to changi airport to accompany me home to REDEEM yourselves for the other day haha.

sometimes, i'm just so tired of this. haiz.

2010-05-26T00:58:00.002+08:00

17 may: MON

went to bugis meet cynthia, felicia and huat. ate lunch. met bear and lip. bought a pouch !! :) heehee. went to east coast park !! ride bicycle ~ haiz wanted to roller blade de but in the end .. haha. cycled for three hours cuz bike shop having promotion. woahhhh ~ butt pain sia kns. went to chomp chomp for dinner with them after wards. woots sia. all so damn hungry. order so much. in the end can't finish. HAHA. took train home with bear but fell asleep. bleah.

18 - 22 may: tue - sat

work work work work work. urgh. disgusting. some more thursday night so stunning. haiz.

23 may: sun

SICK. take mc. stay at home. watched you're beautiful. and then. stunning again -_- woah. i old liao heart cannot tahan.

24 may: mon

went school hand in portfolio. ate lunch at white dog cafe. went np pass thing to mx and jy. accompany them home. went back to harbourfront to find cynthia, felicia and huat. ate sushi tei and talked till 130 in the morning. STILL SICK.

25 may: tue

work. STILL SICK. but jiaying, yanrong and yokeling came to visit :) they sending friend off so SUN BIAN. but then again. once they come in customers all start coming in. woah kns. sabo meh. thanks yokeling for the lemsip HAHA and don't nei jiu anymore ok. reach home type resume. omg. thought can sleep early. haiz. lalalalalalalalalalalalalala :)

hmm hmm hmm ~

2010-05-17T01:06:00.002+08:00

10 may: MON

went NP again today. i'm beginning to know my way around there. tsk tsk. played board games with jy and yl. like three crazy people sitting there and drawing pictures XD. left around 630 and went to get meiqi present. and all the way down to pending to deliver dinner to someone lor. reach there around 9 plus. sit bus for one hour -_- high sia. there goes my off day ~

11 - 13 may: TUE - THU

work work work. bored.

14 may: FRI

went to kallang leisure park with huat, cynthia, bear and dajie to ice skate and watch movie :) simple day. had fun with them. happy :) went home to wait for 2/3 of the melons to come my house and watch movies. in the end watch avatar and valentine's day only before we collapsed XD. but had fun :) again again ~ HAHA.

15 - 16 may: SAT - SUN

work in the evening. jac and reagen came to visit on sun evening :) though it was unexpectedly they saw me at simply wang XD. glad they came haha. saw JANICE LIM on the train home. sickening woman. couldnt see me even though i standing in front of her. tsk tsk.

haiz my next week schedule high liao :( some more my only off day kana taken over by baking de. tmr PLUS the week after. TWO WEEKS. only one day off per week and i can't ........... ahhhhhhhhh whatever. test then test.

2010-05-09T00:48:00.002+08:00

5, 6, 7 may: WED, THU, FRI

REDANG REDANG REDANG !! WOOTS. damn burnt. but had lots of fun :) worth the money and pain haha. will miss them though :( i wanna go back and float some more.

8 may: SAT

jiayu party. bbq. damn hot. damn tired.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAN CHINGYEE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRICE LEE.

9 may: SUN

2-10pm work.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAN JIAYU.

2010-05-04T17:41:00.003+08:00

28 apr: WED

12-9pm work.

29 apr: THU

12-5pm work. rushed to marina square to meet the guys to wathc IRON MAN 2. eh not bad wor ~ who knew the three "melons" also watching same movie as me at great world city haha. sickening. watch finish went popeye to eat fried chicken and visit cindy !! omg cindy so cute in her uniform HAHA. on our way to mrt when the three "melons" called me and say they're lost. omg. LOST ?! IN SINGAPORE ?! haiz. no choice went to find them. bring them to mrt. DOTS -_-

30 apr: FRI

something big happened. didn't work that day.

3 may: MON

went to np to find the three "melons". met meixuan and meiqi !! oh gosh so happy :) crashed jiaying's physiology class. this girl ah. NEVER LISTEN AT ALL CAN. end up i take notes for her. tsk tsk. left for bugis with mx and the three "melons". met kaihui !! happy again :) met up with wanyee and carene at bugis junction to find present. woah. unofficial TPS meeting ah :p rushed back in time haha.

4 may: TUE

finally ended. leaving for redang tonight :) i want to have FUN FUN FUN !!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAU MEIQI !!

2010-04-27T22:32:00.003+08:00

19 apr: MON

did our individual sugar boxes. hide in the kitchen and tell each other ghost stories. ahhhhhhh i'm gonna miss that :) was supposed to go out with grace. but somebody forgot all about it. hung around with classmates. home. ( 4 more days )

20 apr: TUE

did some really boring sugar work. home. ( 3 more days )

21 apr: WED

school-ed half day. took han's van to expo. waited and waited for teacher to reach before we managed to get our tags. met turnip, chingyee, marilyn, yuqin, yuqin's friend, joey, cs kitchen crew :) i go FHA to see old friends haha not to see equipment. managed to walk finish all the halls but miss the most important de !! damn sadded. but nvm. 2 years later !! we'll have enough money to buy our own tickets !! HMPH. sat down with jay and felicia to have a drink before making our way to old airport road food centre to eat some DELICIOUS food :). home. ( 2 more days )

22 apr: THU

woke up with no mood to go school. told mum half day. woke up again at 8 plus. decided to just skip entirely. sorry dajie !! haha. spent my time at home watching xia yi zhan xing fu, naruto and shugo chara. ahhhhhh finally i can just sit and watch what i want. tsk tsk. went down at 430 to meet them for dinner at earl swensen's. longest and noisiest table they had that day and so far i guess XD. we're gonna get banned !! haha. but we enjoyed ourselves :) and there's never gonna be another dinner like this. i'm glad that i went for the dinner. heehee. ( 1 more day )

23 apr: FRI

seriously no mood to go to school because of the stupid sugar work. if it wasn't the last day i would be seeing them i wouldn't even go AT ALL. reached there and completely stoned. don't want to touch or see that stupid sugar thing. but managed to finished final project in time. i did not break down for your information. i just had no interest. not that i can't do. i can but i DON'T WANT TO. but frigging difference hor. kns. last day i don't want argue with you only. forget it lah. not going for your stupid graduation anyway. want us to prepare our OWN refreshments ? FAT HOPE. stupid school. stupid diploma. waste time waste money. the only good thing i got out of it was the people i met there. NEVER gonna recommend that place to others. YUCKS. GOODBYE. SAYONARA. watched bounty hunter with them after school. not bad damn funny haha. ate a little dinner before rushing off to meet kaihui at her workplace at bugis. so ulu-ated !! omg sia. i walk also scared :s went down to tps and FINALLY signed resignation letter. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a big load off my back ~ whee ~ home.

24 apr: SAT

went for WSQ test at suntec city with felicia and peiqi. haiz. let them know something that's NOT true at all -_-. ended up working at simply wang that night. tio sabo-ed by hui khoon ragh. but went for midnight supper with them at bukit timah. had fun :)

25 apr: SUN

worked morning shift at simply wang. went for turnip's vegetarian buffet in the evening. hitched a ride to serangoon station on dajie's bf's car. home.

26 apr: MON

1230-9pm WORK and 3 rounds of mahjong O.O

27 apr: TUE

12-9PM WORK O.O

[ i didn't enjoy taking this diploma up in the first place.
so many unsettled things.
so many hates.
turnip left me and dajie to fend for ourselves after agreeing to join with us.
only a few from basic jumped to diploma.
felicia and i went in with heavy hearts.
heard that we had to do a portfolio by the end of the diploma.
shocked all of us.
took us unprepared.
but we endured.
11 modules.
finally over.
FINALLY.
i can't believe i don't have to study there anymore !!
feels like i just threw my money in there to get a PAPER.
but i'll miss them :(
all of them.
made an impact in my life.
they make me want to really put my best effort forward.
they made me laugh.
they made me mad.
but i still enjoy going to school to see, talk and listen to them.
i don't suppose you could find a more livelier class than ours XD.

to: dajie :)
dajie stood by me no matter what happened.
dajie listened to whatever rubbish that i said.
dajie endured all my lameness.
i don't think i can find someone else like her.
we're so alike we think the same :s
even though we're both of different ages, dajie and i can really click *clicks fingers* i don't know how we're gonna keep in contact or stay so close anymore.
but i hope the plans we made will come true :)
we'll jiayou together dajie !! *hug* ]

2010-04-18T09:21:00.003+08:00

12 apr: MON

school-ed. rushed home to meet three "melons" to watch movies together. scare them until abit don't want to go home HAHA. stunning. eat so much pudding some more -_- find one day marathon again ah !!

13 apr: TUE

school-ed. work at wang.

14 apr: WED

school-ed.went ritz carlton millenia for buffet dinner. woah. original price of $58++ per pax but wed night is ladies night. as long as you have don't know what card, ladies all one-for-one O.O so good deal ah. no wonder that day so many ladies HAHA. celebrated auntie and uncle's birthday. mango mousse cake. fat omg. fell asleep when they started talking. buay tahan.

15 apr: THU

school-ed. work at wang. carene and wanyee came to visit :) ended late. rushed to esplanade. surprised TOH PEIQI with cake haha. woooo shock face XD. bus-ed home with meiqi.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOH PEIQI !! =D

16 apr: FRI

school-ed halfday. rushed to ite simei. met carene and her friend. went tampines mall eat yoshinoya. found what we were looking for. watched DATE NIGHT. laughed like siao. work at wang. first time bar !!

17 apr: SAT

10am-5pm training at wang HQ. arghhhhhh can't keep my eyes open. went juliet's party at pasir ris. supposed to meet carene but cancelled. supposed to meet the three melons but cancelled. hmm. tired.

18 apr: SUN

work at TPS. work at wang. shiong ah.

tired i am. very very. just one more week of useless school then i'm done. out into the world i go :)

2010-04-12T00:17:00.002+08:00

5 apr: MON

lawrence farewell chalet. ahhh gosh. eat steamboat AND bbq. as if kukup never eat alot liao -_- overnight-ed with 3 "melons". all totally high sia. i old liao. not good :(

6 apr: TUE

late to school cuz woke up late :p but managed to sleep one hour haha. didn't even bother to stay awake in class cuz keep doing project. so slept the whole day :p

7 apr: WED

work at tps. bored.

8 and 9 apr: THU and FRI

work at simply wang. tired.

10 apr: SAT

worked at tps. bored like siao. lucky got bunni and wanyee to entertain a little. rushed to pasir ris for marilyn's party. so colourful ~ rainbow theme wor ~ haha. hope she enjoyed her day :) happy birthday marilyn !! *advanced*

11 apr: SUN

CCF --> church --> work at simply wang --> home. dieded. realised can't work with meixuan for last time :(

2010-04-05T00:43:00.003+08:00

李圣杰: 痴心绝对

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味
你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会

看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你做任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

2010-04-04T23:56:00.002+08:00

28 mar: MON

ahhhhhhhhhhh whole night never sleep high sia. dajie fell down !! then leg got BIG BIG wound. poor thing. SEE LAH GO WEDDING. if go batam with us sure won't fall down one :p

29 & 30 mar: TUE & WED

stayed at home. watch drama.

1 apr: THU

school-ed. tio teacher prank. rushed to work. pranked meixuan :D. waited for felicia. went home. mahjong-ed till 5 in the morning. [ missed the class prank on teacher. dang. ]

2 apr: FRI

off to kukup ~ sleep sleep and MORE sleep XD

3 apr: SAT

back from kukup !! reached home. play mahjong again O.O three nights in a row. shiok sia.

4 apr: SUN

slept for 12 hours. work. chalet tmr ~

2010-03-29T07:06:00.003+08:00

22 - 24 march: MON - THU

i have no recollections about what i did these four days. but i suppose is watch xia yi zhan xing fu and finished my petit fours :)

25 march: FRI

bring laptop to school in the end teacher say going for fieldtrip. super winner liao. lucky got ike's van :x went chinatown's barcook bakery to try their raisin cream buns. WOOOOOOOTS damn nice. went 313 icing room to eat their small little cakes. kal really "can i have one of each" O.O so expensive and don't want collect money from us. tsk tsk. anyway went to buy black pants with dajie then joined has, cynthia, ike, zaleha, linda and jay to see baking stuffs. dinner-ed at far east plaza thai chinese food. WOOOOOOOOOOOOTS damn nice. XD

26 mar: SAT

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh first day of work and i key in wrong order liao :( damn sadded one. but other than that nothing le bah. kns. so many different kinds of chicken rice for what ><>

27 mar: SUN

rushed to pioneer to celebrate niuli's birthday. big surprise for her i guess haha. hope she liked the cake and presents :) happy birthday niuli !! met carene after that and accompanied her to buy stuffs and trim eyebrows -_- gosh. bought the WRONG alcohol, ate some WEIRD chocolate pudding and basically talked till 5 in the morning when i took mrt home. SHIOK AH LATER GOT LESSON :D i made some bets with you and i'm not gonna lose CARENE LING. bleah :p

[ mei: jiayou le :) talk to her when you get the chance. you'll feel better de. don't worry ok ? jie will support you no matter what. find me whenever you need someone to hit or pinch >< ]

2010-03-21T15:22:00.002+08:00

16 march: TUE

went to eat sakae sushi with them !! OMG !! exciting sia !! first time i order food really "can i have one of each from this, this, this, this, this and this page. thanks" HAHA !! WOOTS. and not bad we managed to finish most of the food. nearly died though -_-. went to giant to shop for snacks and we bought so many ~ after eating so much still need see food *tremble*

17 march: WED

went home early to watch finish my jiu xiang lai zhe ni !! ahhh finally finish. next stop: xia yi zhan xing fu :)

18 march: THU

went to chinatown with them to buy some sia huat stuffs and have tea break. woots drank koi milk tea !! i like ~ but stomach weird :(

19 march: FRI

yifang's birthday party !! had fun. played lotsa mahjong. inhaled helium. mostly just nua-ed. but hope yar yar enjoyed her special day :) happy birthday YAR YIFANG !!

20 march: SAT

had swensen's with the girls after going back from pasir ris. rushed home to mahjong with peiqi and felicia AGAIN haha. these two like becoming permenent fixtures in my house XD.

21 march: SUN

finished afternoon tea fancies !! WOOTS. da jie don't know still at where only sia.

2010-03-15T23:21:00.002+08:00

9 march: TUE

first day of wedding cake decorations. omg. ultimate BOREDOM. super winner. super gone.

10 march: WED

met mx and mq for lunch at tps !! woah. like feeding 3 VERY hungry people lor kitchen de. think we pigs meh !! XD even had to dabao potato salad cause can't finish. wanted to get something de but didn't manage to find it !! :(

went for wang cafe interview with pq, mq and mx. first time i do mass interview XD. we should be getting the job bah but different training time, different schedules, different outlets. stunned. joe never say haiz :( nvm bah. at least got job -_- and sooner or later maybe got same place same time :D

went back to harbourfront to meet TOH JING JING for candlelight dinner. haha. walked so long before settling for white dog cafe. they got us this window seat so uncomfortable !! at first ask us to sit NEXT to each other then we look at the service crew and he shifted the chairs XD. had a good time with her. most of the time spent laughing at each other O.O

11 march: THU

ate mac with felicia and jay !! been so long since we did it. haha. then went giant to shop for cake ingredients. jay fetched me ~ home sweet home ~

12 march: FRI

went IT fair to get new laptop !! gosh. people mountain people sea. i don't like :( get laptop fast fast and run ~

13 march: SAT

baked mango mousse cake for mx, played mahjong, played blackjack, ate steamboat, gossiped, slacked, had fun :) i lost $15 tsk tsk. happy advanced birthday lmx !!

14 march: SUN

stayed at home whole day to finish gateaux and torten module and i'm proud to say i did !! wow ~ ask someone with stm to do these kind of things.

15 march: MON

pretty much finished our wedding cake today. SO PRETTY !! as compared to someone else's WHICH IS SO DULL COLOURED I WANNA LAUGH XD. but seriously. you have no right to say our cake is childish. i'll bet you $100 that if you put your cake and mine next to each other, 9 out of 10 couples will choose OURS. please -_- nobody like tradition anymore thank you very much.

met felicia and pq at bugis to buy shorts. shop fast fast and rush back to my house to mahjong HAHA !! i won $19 !! woah. got back my sat losings le XD.

people say. love is blind. love conquers all. but at what price ? if the other party was already attached would you still charge forward to grab that person for yourself ? or would you wait at the sidelines till the day that they notice ? would you hurt the other party's partner to gain happiness for yourself ? if you did manage to get the person for yourself, what happens to that other party's partner ? will they be happy ? especially if they've been together for long ? can you say that you love this person much much more than the other party's partner ?

i don't know. i've never been in this situation before so i won't be able to understand what they're going through. what i do know is this. if i really love this person, i won't even let this person know that i like them in the first place. why should i put them in a horrible position unless they feel the same way ?

[ i just hope you two will be happy no matter what your choice. :) ]

haha. i'm done here. i don't want to waste my heart or brain cells on this anymore. sheesh.

2010-03-08T16:15:00.002+08:00

1 march: MON

met qingping at vivo to collect receipt for my hard drive. got free laptop stand !! and then ~ must go ALLLLLLLL the way down to i aljunied just to collect -_- waste my time meh. watched percy jackson and the lightning thief in the end just to pass time haha. VERY NICE O.O

2 march: TUE

went cine kbox with mx, mq, pq, and felicia ~ finally can go ~ so very the happy ~ but like never sing enough leh :( i wanna go back again ~ ate dinner at nydc wheelock, talked rubbish with kh and home sweet home with mq :)

3 march: WED

就想賴著你 :)

4 march: THU

met yar yar to get her party stuff. finished everything so quickly but movie all wrong timing. but we had a nice time talking on the roof of iluma :)

5 march: FRI

cellgroup. hmm. been so long since i went for it. feels weird :/

6 march: SAT

working night with three lame/ siao/ bimbo people plus pq, belle and wilson. just suddenly feel like got dai gou with kitchen de. dunno why. lucky got pq :(

KAIHUI !! I MISS YOU ALREADY :(

7 march: SUN

$800 O.O
can i ?

8 march: MON

KAIHUI !! FASTER COME BACK !! :(

last day of asian pastry. gosh. time really flies when you're having fun. diploma's ending really soon. two more months. and then we'll really go our seperate ways. i'll really miss the time spent with them but i'm gonna miss dajie the most :(

dajie's the only one who can stand my ridiculous jokes, my orange laughter, my "charlie", my beatings, my childishness, my making fun of her. dajie listens to me whenever i have something to say, be it lame or personal. dajie never gets angry no matter what i do or say to her and she always stands by me to bully jay XD. how to find another dajie like her ? :( *takes tissue dramatically to wipe tears away*

2010-03-01T23:31:00.003+08:00

done.
finally.
i don't think it was much of a success but i enjoyed it all the same.
really really a big thank you to those who came.
you made my day by making an appearance :)
the place was jam packed !!
gosh.
i didn't know my ren yuan so good haha.
so many people came up to me and say "you got alot of friends hor !!"
haha stunning.
i didn't realise too.
until you all started turning up.
i was so afraid that nobody was coming to due me accidentally canceling my event on fb.
but even more came O.O

thank you for coming all the way down to pasir ris to celebrate with me my coming of age.
thank you for singing the birthday song so loudly that my ears were ringing. TWICE.
thank you for bearing with me by taking so many photos.
thank you for your well wishes and fabulous presents.

i had so much fun and laughter that day i almost lost my voice.
but it was worth the sweat, tears and anger.
really hoped you all enjoyed the party as much as i did.
and thank you once again for making my 21st such a special one :)

[ thanks mum and dad for helping with everything. ]
[ thanks tabitha and theo for helping me to take so many wonderful photos. ]
[ thanks kaihui, felicia and peiqi for being my "pig hands" that day. you helped to take photos, look after my presents and hong baos and lastly, helped me in whatever way you can to minimise the amount of work i do. i owe you three a BIG meal :) ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :D

2010-02-23T22:27:00.005+08:00

SAMANTHA'S BIG DAY

Date: 27 Feb 2010

Venue: Aranda Country Club (60 Pasir Ris Drive 3 Singapore 519497)

Room number: 2322

Bus Services available: 3, 5, 6, 12, 17, 21, 89 ,354, 358, NR7 (it's the first bus stop from the interchange)

Click here for map:

http://www.ascentis.com.sg/cms/files/fileManager/NTUCCLUB/ARANDA/images/acc_map.jpg

Time: 6pm till late. all are welcomed to stay overnight :)

Theme: Ties/ Bowties

Food will be provided.

PS: bake something for me and you'll stand a chance to win a FABULOUS prize from me if i think yours is the nicest :)
BITC mates: sorry but you gotta cook wahahahaha ! :p

PPS: any who fails to comply to the theme will be punished accordingly :)

anyway, i hope you all can make it and enjoy yourselves on that day. wheeeeeee ~

2010-02-18T19:55:00.002+08:00

kaihui !! i'm blogging !!

cny 1st and 2nd day this year pretty much the same but i spent most of my time at home. watched saw 1, 2, 3, 4 and fringe series O.O eyes popped out.

3rd day of cny went to peiqi house for mahjong, blackjack, steamboat and lao yu sheng. gained weight and lost $20. but had fun. felicia had one VERY exciting round :p stacey sucked all our money during the blackjack session. tsk tsk. no wonder take taxi home.

yea. kaihui knows. i know :p

stayed at home whole day on 4th day. watched movies and shows till eyes really pop out. comtemplated skipping school the next day :p

thankfully didn't skip. learned some stuffs and laughed the whole lesson. i need new lungs soon. maybe.

ok done. see this is why i don't really blog anymore. haha.

2010-02-07T13:25:00.003+08:00

你高兴就好 :)

2010-02-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

BROKE !!

2010-01-20T22:19:00.001+08:00

omg.
$140 on a shorts, a shirt and a pair of converse shoes.
gosh.
my hard earned money -_-.

2010-01-17T18:19:00.003+08:00

fat maomao.
died today.
ah.
didn't hit me so early in the morning.

i came home just now.
expecting to see her sleeping in her cage.
wanting to call out to her too.
totally forgetting she was gone already.
that's when i realised.
i lost my only hamster left.

my balcony looks so empty now.
won't be hearing any running sounds in the middle of the night.
nothing to look after no more.

i hope maomao found her sister somewhere out there.
maybe they're happily running on a wheel and snatching sunflower seeds.
haha.
i just hope she knew i loved her even though i didn't show it.

2010-01-15T23:30:00.003+08:00

today.
another part of my life.
disappeared.
though i only spent a short two months there.
it took a part of me with it.

i remember the first time i went there.
felt completely useless.
tables all mixed up.
customers coming in any old how.
customers using the ridiculous computer screen to order and wasting our time when they keyed in the wrong orders.
air-con = no air-con.

fie fie was handling it all by himself.
so impressed by him.

finally learned the ropes to service there.
things got better.
cashiered most of the time.
the sweat, tears and anger we had every time the lunch crowd came in.
but at the end of the day.
when we saw how good the business was.
we felt it was worth it.

cindy, riyan and i got transferred there after tiong closed down.
i worked nights at wheelock.
we suffered everyday to bring in the sales.

the people i met there.
though i'm not particularly close to them.
we had fun, laughter, singing sessions, charades.
i got to know them more each day.

i remember telling fie fie.
i'll help him at cs till the very end.
and he goes and quit.
funny.

after he left.
they all followed.
one by one.
kitchen crew all resigned till only thomas remained.

cindy and riyan tried their best to turn things around but nothing worked.
bill came.
i started school and got less time with them.
transferred back to wheelock.

wanyee got transferred there after awhile and cindy's husband joined the crew.
thomas finally quit, leaving only the five of them to handle things everyday.

nouvelle took over the management.
changed the whole menu.
changed the whole outlook.
started opening on sundays instead of saturdays.
didn't even stick through with this regime for one month.
rental was up.

monday was the last day i ever stepped into it.
though there was a slight difference to things.
the atmosphere i felt the first time i was there was still as strong.

never did say a proper goodbye.
won't get to hear the demolition people tearing it down.
maybe it's better that way.

wanyee --> kohi ten
cindy and steven --> hibiki
bill --> sakae sushi outlet in north
riyan --> wheelock TPS

[ when will we be together again. all under the same roof :( ]

2010-01-07T23:06:00.001+08:00

走音

雖然沒車能接送妳
海角天邊都陪妳去
送了一個小驚喜
忙幾星期
妳眼中
有小星星
妳不開心就抱緊妳
妳有話說我就安靜
為妳改好了個性
磨平脾氣
才曉得默契會飄移

妳的愛情在走音
變成另一個旋律
我還在執迷
拼了命去合音
妳像下雪的表情
是會過完的冬季
我把心
劃成火柴卻看見漆黑的夢境

聽見愛情在走音
痛是太長的抖音
我不愛煽情
但雙唇抖個不停
本來幸福的主題
怎麼唱成了悲劇
選錯歌
唱再用心也無力

對街狂奔大喊愛妳
擁擠捷運流下淚滴
這個瘋狂的自己
來自哪裡
我已經不懂我自己

2010-01-03T02:34:00.003+08:00

1 january 2010.
12.45am.
at that instant that it happened.
my heart stopped.
literally.

i couldn't breathe.
the whole 5 seconds that you were doing it.
couldn't look away.
couldn't watch.
didn't see it coming.
never expected it.

i laughed.
painfully.
already trying my best not to cry.
looked everywhere but at you.

you didn't notice.
i fell silent after that.
didn't know what to say.
didn't know what to do.
didn't know how to react.

just wanted to run.
just wanted to cry.
just wanted to shout.

found out only much later that you were only biting.
but the knowledge didn't help to ease the pain any lesser.
because to me.
it will always look like you were kissing her.

fukc this.

why do i still care about you so much.
why do i still like you so much.
why do i still think about you so much.
why do i have a new year's resolution all about YOU ?!

do you know that i exist ?
do you know that you are still the last thing on my mind when i sleep ?
do you know that you are still the first thing on my mind when i wake up ?
do you know that you mean the world to me ?

but of course.
alas.
i know that.
to you, i'll always just be a friend.
nothing more.
so why the heck am i still trying ?

2009-12-31T00:46:00.003+08:00

somebody reminded me.
new year's coming.
what's my new year resolution ?
haha.
i normally don't make any.
because by the 2nd week of january.
i would have forgotten about it totally.
let alone follow through with it the whole year.
but this year will be different.
there's something that i want.
i hope i can succeed.
but if i can't.
at least i tried.
my very very best.

sam's new year resolution : in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, in joy as well as in sorrow, i promise to love you unconditionally. to support you in your goals, to honor you, to respect you, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to cherish you. i give you my hand, my heart, my love. if you give me a chance to. [ how i wish you could see this ]

2009-12-29T11:08:00.003+08:00

funeral held downstairs my house.
now they having karaoke session :O.
so many people were gathered.
it got me wondering.
will there be as many people gathered at mine ?
haha.
dreary topic to discus early in the morning.

i want a party !!
i want loud music !!
i want the world to know !!
i want the people who come to dress up !!

i don't want a funeral.
i don't want the people who come to cry.
i don't want a single boring moment at my "party".

haha.
ridiculous thinking i have.
go work le.
bye.

2009-12-25T11:48:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS !! :D

2009-12-24T01:08:00.003+08:00

i'm tired.
of blogging what i do everyday.
but if i don't.
i'll forget.
and i've already forgotten many events.
oh well.
i still have photos on facebook to remind me.

clicked on a blog.
that i've told myself a million times not to.
i think i'm much happier.
not knowing what's going on.
ignorance is bliss.
for me.

they're going away.
slowly.
but surely.
i'm certain that they will.
one day.

one day.
i'll be able to look into your eyes.
and tell you.
there's no more.
:)

2009-12-17T23:37:00.002+08:00

i finally know.
what's it like.
to feel.
as if my whole world has collapsed.
as if i have nothing else to live for.
as if i can never love again.
as if my heart has stopped.
as if i died.

it hurts.
so much.
it's that horrible cycle all over again.

2009-12-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

it's december !!
what happened to 2009 ?!
christmas is coming.
new year is coming.
and my birthday is coming.
i need money.
i need rest.
i need.

[ is it okay like this ? ]

2009-11-25T22:41:00.004+08:00

SAMANTHA HAS FOUND A NEW AND EXCITING HOBBY !!
but.
too expensive.
must find sponsor :(.
anyone kind enough out there ?
you can have the toy.
i just enjoy catching it.
HAHA !!

2009-11-19T23:50:00.001+08:00

should i ?
will i ?
can i ?
hmm.
[ samantha JIAYOU ]

2009-11-09T00:31:00.002+08:00

so many words to say.
so many things to do.
but i don't have the chance to.
nothing i can say.
nothing i can do.
but wait.

让我照顾你
面对再大的风雨
也能微笑做自己
像个孩子
躺在我怀里

让我照顾你
在这荒芜世界里
就算有新的剧情
在明天等着你
然而在你最需要的此刻
请让我轻抚你

2009-10-25T14:57:00.001+08:00

I am trying
Not to tell you
But i want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So i'm hiding what i'm feeling
But i'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

2009-10-22T23:15:00.004+08:00

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...
1. I died: i'd die too.
2. I kissed you: faint in joy.
3. I lived next door to you: come home early everyday.
4. I started smoking: if i can't stop you again, i'll join you.
5. I stole something: smack you.
6. I was hospitalized: accompany you everyday till you're well.
7. I ran away from home: let you have my bed , my com , my house.
8. I got into a fight and you weren't there?: call the police and fly down.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
9. Personality: irritatingly cute sometimes.
10. Eyes: i drown in them.
11. Hair: as long you like it the way it is.
12. Family: if i had a choice , i'll give you mine.

WOULD YOU:
13. Be my friend?: i want to be more than that.
14. Keep a secret if I told you one?: of course.
15. Hold my hand?: if you let me.
16. Take a bullet for me?: yes , even if it meant i died.
17. Keep in touch?: i wouldn't want to lose it.
18. Try and solve my problems?: everyday.
19. Love me?: already am.
20. Date me?: hoping to.
21. Sing with me?: love to.

HAVE YOU EVER:
22. Lied to make me feel better?: i might have.
23. Wanted to kiss me?: everytime i see you.
24. Wanted to kill me?: when you irritate me.
25. Broken my heart?: i hope not.
26. Kept something important from me?: oh heck yes.
27. Thought I was unbearably annoying?: sometimes.

MORE:
28. Who are you?: bartender
29. Are we friends?: sadly yes.
30. When and how did we meet?: sometime last november at TPS.
31. Describe me in one word: you.
32. What was your first impression?: innocent.
33. Do you still think that way about me now?: heck NO.
34. What reminds you of me?: everytime someone walks past with your perfume.
35. If you could give me anything what would it be?: everything.
36. How well do you know me?: not as well as i would like.
37. When's the last time you saw me?: just now at 1030.
38. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?: heck yes.
39. What song do you think would describe me best?: as long as you like it , it suits you.
40. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you: i would love to , but no.

these are my true feelings. these are the words i want to say to you. these are the things i want to do. these are the thoughts i'm thinking everyday. carene , i'm in love with you and i just can't stop thinking about you. you make me smile when i'm down. you're the face i look for in a crowd. you're the voice i want to hear everyday. you're the first thing i think about in the morning and the last thing i remember before i sleep. and how i wish i could tell you all these.

2009-10-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

i want to blog.
really.
but i don't know what to blog.
school's been ok.
bread.
not much interest.
only one redeeming factor.
somebody seems to be enjoying them. :)
working lesser and lesser.
i really don't know how to survive next month.
eat air le. :(
we'll see how bah.

[ found out something i think i'm better off not knowing. i don't know what to do. ]

2009-10-06T00:30:00.002+08:00

wanna scream.
wanna lash out.
wanna throw everything out.
wanna sleep my life away.
wanna shout till my voice is gone.
wanna hit something till my hands bleed.
wanna walk till my feet bleed.

[ i wanna .. ]

2009-09-30T21:14:00.002+08:00

uhoh ..

2009-09-19T02:24:00.002+08:00

finally.
really.
finally.
no more.
ain't sad.
ain't angry.
ain't gonna cry.
i'm happy.
really.
finally.
no more.

2009-09-18T18:28:00.003+08:00

one more week :O
time really flies when you're doing things that you're interested in.
got project to do next week.
then my one week holiday.
which i will NOT enjoy.
going to my classmate's bread factory tomorrow to spam her free bread.
everyday bring give me to eat until i fall in love with the focaccia bread le.
later i look like focaccia bread how !! :(
round and fat ragh.
go cake course get fat by eating bread HAHA.
going prawning in the morning with michy and mum.
later night going bugis eat steamboat.
body hot le if i tio nose bleed again how :(
but no choice.
i'm done.
bye.

[ give me more time and i WILL forget. ]

2009-09-11T23:17:00.002+08:00

two weeks flew by le ~
and i have baked i dunno how many times this two weeks :O
more than enough to last me a lifetime HAHA.
just two more weeks before i graduate from this module oO
but i must say i've grown to quite like my classmates :)
people who have same interests as me.
some of them better than me.
some have more knowledge than me.
they make me want to do better all the more !!
i must shine for God using what talents He has given me :)
did my first cake decorating today.
ugly yes.
but i'm proud of it ><
i'll upload the photos SOON.
be back soon to update ~

[ i don't like the way i handle things. especially things concerning ______. not sure what i'm gonna do for now. we'll see. ]

2009-09-07T13:02:00.000+08:00

i can't concentrate in school today! URGH! it's all because of ______! :-( haiz.

2009-09-04T23:02:00.002+08:00

first week of school officially over !! i have fun :) loads of it !! practical EVERYDAY and had different cakes to bring home :D .. i just enjoy watching people's faces when they eat my cakes .. got sense of achievement :D .. only one week but i learnt so many different things !! i can say by the end of the 6 months , my cakes won't be so ugly anymore :) .. cheer for me people !! next time your birthday might have nice cake to eat HAHA .. will upload photos of my cakes on facebook soon ~

[ ps : i'm free on weekday nights for dinner hint hint :p ]

2009-09-01T13:03:00.000+08:00

wahaha now i know my school got free internet!XD.so you'll see me online in the afternoons during my break time:-P.anyway yesterday first day of school and i made rock cakes aka sugar buns:)not bad lah according to the rest but i like my buns sweet haha.today 2nd day and already i made a sponge cake and later gonna make swiss roll!:-Di know you ppl reading my blog are JEALOUS but all you gotta do is visit me at my workplace and you'll get to try ah wahaha.i'm loving it here except when its theory lesson when i fall asleep lah tsk.stupid thing about this place is the lack of foodcourt so my mama has to wake up early and make sandwiches for my lunch keke.k i go facebook le:-D
[ will i ever? ]

2009-08-31T00:04:00.002+08:00

school's starting tmr !
gosh .
7 months just flew by like that :O
i still remember telling cindy that i could work till end of august anytime , anyday and its 31st august tmr !
i don't feel particularly excited neither do i feel scared .
just seems like another day to me .
working every night at wheelock next week.
i think i'm mad .
i think i really will get sick .
i think i'm not ready to start school .
i think i need a break from work .
we'll see how my body holds up next week :)
i need money :(

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

[ i need a break from you ]

2009-08-30T11:21:00.001+08:00

samantha's gonna fall sick again soon :p ..

2009-08-12T18:49:00.001+08:00

helpless .. that's how i feel these few weeks .. slowly one by one , you all are falling sick .. there's not enough people to take shifts there because you all have school .. so there's bound to be some who sacrifice their time and energy and studies .. while i'm stuck here at cs ROTTING .. because of me , there's always someone who needs to be there to fill in my shifts .. i feel so bad , so helpless .. there's nothing i can do except watch you all get more tired by the day .. how i wish i can split myself in two ..

never thought my heart could feel any worse when tps closed but alas , i proved myself wrong ..

2009-08-03T00:00:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry .. there WAS something wrong .. there WAS something going through my mind that day , today and will go through it for a long time .. the reason i kept saying it was nothing was because YOU are the reason why i'm feeling and acting this way .. how do you expect me to say it to you ? the feelings are getting worse .. now everytime somebody mentions you and tom , my face turns such a dark shade i'm surprised it hasn't stuck yet .. did you know i felt like punching jiayang for saying what he said just now ? i wanted so desperately to ask you whether what he said was true or not but alas .. a coward i am .. did you notice on that day , i got even quieter after you mentioned that you and wanyee went to find him that night you ran away from home ? did you notice that i didn't want to look you in the eyes lest you should see something dying slowly inside me ? did you notice that i didn't want to sit too near you , should you be able to hear my heart shattering .. and to think , i waited till around 2.30 + to get a msg from wanyee saying you still didn't want to come my house .. i went to bed ANGRY because i waited for nothing !! i went to bed ANGRY because i couldn't do anything to help you when you needed company the most .. i went to bed ANGRY but mostly just at myself .. you don't know but you've already found out how i really feel about you .. i really don't want to destroy the friendship we have now but .. this jealousness .. this running away .. I WANT IT TO STOP !! the more i run , the more i want to be with you !! do you really think i have got nothing to do besides going all the way down to sgh and accompanying you for 45 minutes ? do you think i will wake up at 5am in the morning just to wake you up if you were just some friend to me ? i wouldn't even bother helping you with the batam trip preparations given the choice .. heck i wouldn't even GO !! i was happy till he came along .. pissed me off so much that's why i kinda yelled at wanyee some more .. i've been talking to riyan about the trip and she's right .. either i choose to enjoy it or i choose to ruin it .. by enjoying i have to control my emotions , swallow that green monster that always comes out whenever he's near you , and basically act dumb ..

2009-07-30T00:56:00.003+08:00

I CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING !! YOU'RE CRYING AND YET I'M NOT THERE FOR YOU !! YOU ASKED ME TO GET YOU OUT OF YOUR HOUSE BUT I CAN'T !! WHAT ELSE CAN I DO BUT SIT HERE AT HOME AND WORRY ?! I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU AND YET I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ?!

you don't know how useless i felt when you called and i could hear you crying .. i couldn't think of anything to say and just kept quiet .. you don't know how much i wanted to just appear beside you so that you'd know that you're not alone .. so that you'd know i'm here for you .. you don't know how frustrated i am with myself for not being able to step out of my house after hours and not having transportation ..

if i did , i would rescue you from your "prison" everytime you asked me to .. if i had the means i would bring you out of this wretched place and stay in some god forsaken place and never come back ..

do you know how i feel everytime tom mentions your name or you mention his ? its as if my heart will explode .. tom does things that you'll notice .. whereas i do subtle little things with the tiniest hope that maybe one day , you'll finally understand why i'm doing it .. everytime i see you with him , it's as if the whole world collapses .. everytime he tells me something about you that i don't know , i can't breathe .. everytime someone mentions the both of you , you don't know , but my face turns dark and i turn away ..

you found out accidently about how i really felt about you .. but i lied .. i said no .. i said no way .. while in my heart i was screaming yes .. because the answer you gave me was too hurtful for me to comprehend .. i knew all along .. you would never like a person like me .. and yet .. even after seeing that msg .. i'm doing so much more for you .. i find myself accompanying you more .. i find myself meeting you more .. i find myself thinking about you more ..

i know there's no point in doing these things .. i know there's no point at all .. because i already know your answer .. and still ..

2009-07-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

ok blog died -_- ..
past few days blogger something wrong not my fault ..
i wanna blog but can't ..
let's see ..
did a few exciting things ..
but i can't really remember what ..
so i'll just give you a summary bah ..
i remember : fish spa-ing , foot massaging , shoulder massaging , buffeting at changi airport , playing charades with CS crew ..
and that's basically the exciting things that happened the past TWO weeks -_- ..
my life = boring
therefore ..
there will be less posts up here from now on :p ..
i'm only blogging to appease LEE MEIXUAN ..
oh yea ..
next week onwards ..
night time will be stationed at cs le ..
sooo ..
full shift at cs finally ..
weekends then at wheelock ..
DON'T MISS ME WOR ..

cause i will ..

2009-07-13T01:36:00.003+08:00

TAKEN FROM TIONG BAHRU PLAZA WEBSITE :

" You're done shopping; your stomach's calling; and your cohorts are craving for something a little Italian but you want it with a hint of Japanese sauciness.

Head over to The Pasta Shop at #01-48 and be prepared to indulge your palate! Brought to you by the people from Sakae Sushi, you'll be spolit for choice and pampered in the cozy setting that makes The Pasta Shop so unique at Tiong Bahru Plaza.

Nestled between the Plaza and the office building, the clash of these two culinary cultures never sounded so delicious. Amongst the many pastas to savour, try their Buta No Kakuni (Okinawan Braised Pork). This little nibble will get your heart pumping as the tomato sauce gives your palate an exciting tingle feel, anymore tingle and you'll be having Japanese fugu.

This dish is a labour of love that could come from grandma's own secret recipe book. Okinawans are closely linked to China, so don't be surprised to find bitter gourd infused into this delicious combination. The dish is also fried with eggs to give that creamy flavour so beloved by Singaporeans.

So what are you waiting for? Head down to The Pasta Shop now! Dine in from 12pm to 2pm and enjoy a $0.99 cents upgrade to your main course of drinks + soup and ice cream! This offer is exclusively at Tiong Bahru Plaza only! "

crazy huh ? this was like LAST year's news and it's still on the website .. and i didn't know buta no kakuni had tomato sauce -_- ..

TAKEN FROM APEX-PAL INTERNATIONAL LTD WEBSITE :

Just as its name suggests, The Pasta Shop is where pasta lovers will head for when they crave for freshly cooked, delicious and good quality pasta at affordable prices.

Another winning creation by the same Innovative Food People who brought you Sakae Sushi, The Pasta Shop aims to be a fun and trendy place for the young and energetic. Be it professionals, executives, students or families with young children, The Pasta Shop will have something special for everyone.

Conceived with the same brand proposition as Sakae Sushi, you can be confident about the food and service quality offered by this new kid on Singapore’s vibrant culinary scene.

The menu runs the whole gamut of freshly made Japanese pasta set to tantalise your taste buds. While the uninitiated can go for the usual Bolognese pasta and cream sauce, pasta lovers can check out other more interesting dishes. This includes our distinctive TPS wafu cream sauce, cold pasta with home-made wasabi sauce, not to mention our delicious teppan pasta, unique only to The Pasta Shop.

A must-try is our innovative Seafood Teppan Pasta. Watch as our friendly staff carries out your plate of piping hot pasta, accompanied by fresh seafood iron-grilled to perfection and a sauce unique only at The Pasta Shop (TPS). As for meat-lovers, we also serve Toriniku Teppan Pasta (Chicken) and Beef Teppan Pasta.

Or if you are looking for something soupy, the TPS style Carbonara (Bacon and egg with wafu cream soup) and Flower Clam in tsuyu clear soup are popular options. The more health conscious diners can also opt for a lighter dish like our Yasai Galore (Assorted vegetables with tomato soup). Every sip that slithers down your throat is a gastronomical adventure.

As for those who are not in the mood for pasta, there are many other exciting items on the menu to choose from. Paper-thin crust pizza topped with the freshest ingredients, juicy burgers, spicy Japanese curry rice and tempting desserts are just some examples! Everyone will definitely be spoilt for choice with such a wide selection of delectable dishes to choose from.

With the flagship outlet centrally located at Tiong Bahru Plaza, The Pasta Shop is a place where not only every meal delights your palate, but also a wonderful chill-out and get-together location for family and friends!

Prices start from $8.90 for pizzas and $10.90 for pastas. Lunch and student specials are also available at affordable prices.

The Pasta Shop is located @ Tiong Bahru Plaza, 302 Tiong Bahru Road, #01-48 Singapore 168732. Call tel: 6273 3720 for reservations or special events.

Opening hours:

10am – 10pm on Sundays to Thursdays

10am – 10.30pm on Fridays and Saturdays

ok -_- carbonara is SUPPOSED to be soupy !! WOW .. and seriously , the prices are not THAT affordable you know -_-

TAKEN FROM : http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/the_pasta_shop_tiong_bahru_plaza/

oh yea .. food and service reviews .. and um unless you're prepared to get heart pain please don't read what this website has to say :( .. [ PS : guy service crew cannot be us lor !! idiot keep asking for numbers ROAR -_- ]

i didn't purposely go and find all these lame things .. i just wanted to know the exact date TPS opened .. and yea you guessed it .. don't have -_- .. win liao .. but i think TPS din't even last a year ? :( ..

10 july 2009

with every smash , knock , bash , drill , tear .. my heart broke .. i wanted to shout at them to stop .. to wait at least till we're finished packing .. to wait at least we said a proper goodbye .. but before we knew it , TPS was gone .. the booth seats , the bamboo poles , the tables , the chairs , the bar .. gone ..

it was havoc everywhere and not even an hour later .. dust was all that was left of TPS ..

we all lost our home that day but i hope this family can stay together as long as it can :)

2009-07-09T03:22:00.004+08:00

i've been taught to fight for what i believe in .. to stand up for what's right .. to never doubt myself .. but when it comes to you , none of them apply .. i cannot fight for what i believe in because God's ways and mine clashes .. i cannot stand up for what i think it's right because God's ways clashes with mine .. i doubt myself over and over again because God's ways clashes with mine .. do i really like you so much that i'm determined to leave Him ? is it really worth it ? if i get hurt again , will i run back , crying , to Him again ? God is not for me to go and come as i please .. He's there forever , whether i want Him there or not .. He'll love me to the end of time even if i give up on Him halfway .. will you ? .. do you even know i like you ? do you even know i have such strong feelings towards you ? it's so obvious that riyan found out already without me telling her !! maybe you already know , maybe you don't .. either way , our relationship is better off this way .. i don't want to ruin another friendship just because i want the other party to know how i feel .. it's not fair .. to you and to me .. i'm afraid of getting my heart broken a 3rd time even though i know i'm much stronger now .. i know .. in my heart of hearts .. the real reason keeping me from saying anything is myself ..

2009-07-09T02:43:00.001+08:00

MY FIRST TIME ON A MOTORBIKE TODAY !!
happiness ~
samantha wants more :p
very tempted to learn too ..

2009-07-04T01:42:00.002+08:00

8th july .. finally .. the end .. no more section 2 for us to sit , eat , sleep , laugh , talk .. no more running into the bar to prepare drinks or get the bill .. no more standing at the counter and laughing our heads off for no apparent reason .. no more waiting by the waffle machine for the kitchen to throw out dishes .. no more staring at the customers through the bamboo poles .. no more hiding behind the counter drinking water or eating snacks ..

no more wanyee ..

i never expected to feel this way about work before .. every second i'm not at TPS , to me , is a second wasted .. funny how things turned out .. i didn't know being part of a service crew could add so much joy into my life .. if on that fateful day , i didn't walk past the pasta shop , i would never have gotten to meet all of them .. if firdaus had transferred me to wheelock with him , i would never have known that tiong bahru had such a powerful crew .. never really expected tiong bahru to last only a year but i'm proud to say that i've been with it for more than half its life span ..

i remember my first day of work .. none of you were there .. they were wheelock people waiting to be transferred there .. there was jackson , shuling , gary , jason i think .. i was so scared !! i remember what i was thinking the night before , i remember walking through those doors and seeing how things worked for the first time .. most memorable thing that day ? i shouting IRASHIEMAHSEN haha .. down the months , i made loads of mistakes but i learnt from them and i got to where i am today .. and i'm proud of what i've achieved :) ..

we laughed , we cried , we ate , we slept , we stoned , we talked , we danced , we sang , we partied , we got drunk , we got angry , we got pissed , we shouted , we screamed , we jumped , we walked , we ran , we played pranks on each other , we harvested each other's farms , we threw each other into dustbins , we laughed at customers behind their backs , we splashed water onto each other , we invented new food and drinks , we celebrated each other's birthdays , we built bonds with each other that no other can break .. most importantly , we met each other :)

[ lulu , wendy , firdaus , cindy , wanyee , riyan , stacey , tom , felicia , lingling , joe , sipei , gary , peiqi , carene , meiqi , meixuan , yini , huisian , huizhen , ruijun , guan cheng , jerry , joyce , ah lun brice , evelyn , william , ah cai , hazel , rose , me ]

2009-07-01T02:10:00.002+08:00

management playing with us .. pushing back the closing date .. even later then before .. some more need one week notice which they haven't given us -_- .. darn you people who think you're so great that you own all of us ..

this whole week going cs in the morning .. i hope fie doesn't get irritated with seeing me everyday and making mistakes everyday ..

samantha must jiayou !! help fie , not bring him down !! go go !!

[ how can i help when i don't know what's going on :( ]

2009-06-27T01:40:00.002+08:00

samantha doesn't feel sad .. even though she still has to go wheelock at night to help out , at least she still gets to see her "family" :) .. though in the afternoon she's at cs , riyan and cindy will be there with her !! samantha can't think of another better way to be at two places at one time .. God indeed has great plans for her ..

[ samantha got into her baking class !! =D ]

[ maybe tomorrow .. ]

2009-06-21T18:06:00.002+08:00

BAI DE : i know i'm always saying i hate you , i hate you .. but just to let you know .. deep DEEP down , i know you care for me :) that's why you do things that make me angry .. cause you do things that i don't dare to do or don't want to do XD .. it's already confirmed that i'm going chinasquare and you to wheelock .. did you notice that wednesday is our last day working together in tbp ? i don't know if there's gonna be another chance for us to work together again but i'm really gonna miss working with you :( .. you understand me more than anyone else in the world and i feel so EXPOSED to you -_- .. but i appreciate your care , concern and understanding over these few months :) .. please try to eat more meals from now on !! doesn't mean i not at wheelock to watch you , you don't eat ah !! i'll miss you bai de !! *hug*
[ where will you go ? ]

2009-06-20T16:05:00.005+08:00

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH !!!!

work work AND work !! samantha officially has NO life :( she's got NOTHING to look forward to everyday except WORK -_- .. at least when riyan was still working at tbp , samantha had someone fun and exciting to work with !! not that she's saying here nobody fun and exciting lah but ..

SAMANTHA MISSES RIYAN :( ..

90% of her time is spent at either tbp , wheelock or cs .. the only one to run everywhere nowadays .. who's gonna pay for her train fare :( .. next week no off day for samantha cause wheelock not enough people .. being the overly helpful person she is , of course she says yes .. thereby giving up her only off day XD .. don't think she'll ever be able to say no ..

everyone keeps asking her .. where are you going after tbp closes ? if she has said it once , she's said it many times .. wheelock is not the place for her .. she doesn't have a sense of belonging there .. she feels weird there .. she doesn't want to be tranferred there !! but .. riyan and peiqi are there :( she doesn't want to leave them alone there ..

cs on the other hand .. fie's suffering alone there .. samantha can't leave him alone there too !! though cs is still a new environment to her , samantha feels something similar to tbp there ..

samantha will just have to wait and see what God has in store for her .. she's sure He will know what to do ..

[ 不管我们被派到 wheelock 或 chinasquare 或者辞职,只要我们有 TPS 在我门心中,我们还是一样,会是一家人 =D ]
[ not the time , not the place ]

2009-06-18T02:08:00.005+08:00

光良 - 童话

忘了有多久
再没听到你
对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久
我开始慌了
是不是我又做错什么

你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我要变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我会变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
喔……喔……喔……
一起写我们的结局

[ for riyan : i won't forget you and neither should you !! it was a great one month working with you and we learnt so much from each other :) .. i taught you the ropes in TPS and you taught me to have a positive outlook on everything we do , no matter how difficult or depressing it is .. THANK YOU RIYAN for joining TPS and making me laugh at things no matter how ridiculous they are but i enjoyed your company :) .. i hope you'll find your place at wheelock and maybe , maybe we'll have a chance to work together again =D .. lots of love : samantha ]

2009-06-17T02:34:00.003+08:00

i thought we were going to the movies again .. just the two of us .. you don't know how happy i was to hear that we had a "date" .. who knew you'd invite lingling and felicia .. felicia .. i don't know .. maybe i'm jealous of her ? seeing how you and her get along so well together .. but it's stupid for feeling this way and i know it .. peiqi .. she's been your friend for so long .. i know she treats you as her younger sister and no more .. but there are times that really make me turn away in frustration .. the friendship you have with her is something i don't think i will understand .. maybe peiqi's right .. maybe i should tell you how i feel .. maybe i might feel better .. who knows ? but what's the point ? yes the fear of rejection is still very vivid in my mind .. to me .. telling someone you like them .. it's really for acceptance or rejection .. i can't be like peiqi .. if not you would have known long ago .. i'm a coward and i know that .. i'm just happy with where i am now with you .. though i can't truly be myself in front of you .. i would gladly find your happiness for you .. i want to complete you in an unimaginable way .. i want to make you feel special .. i want you to be happy ..

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO !!

2009-06-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

samantha feels really tired : tmr will be the fifth day she's doing split shift in a row ..

samantha feels guilty : she didn't attend a single morning prayer meeting this week ..

samantha feels useless : she can't do anything right at work ..

samantha feels confused : still pondering ..

samantha feels exposed : thanks to peiqi ..

samantha feels slightly happy : she may have something to look forward to next week ..

[ 是我不配和命运作对 ]

2009-06-07T00:24:00.002+08:00

quit , don't quit , go , don't go .. suddenly this big decision is right in front of samantha .. she thought she could keep working till august when her class starts but now .. tps at tiong is closing and she's faced with a hard decision .. yes she's been considering quitting for quite some time due to an unforseen circumstance but this job means alot to her .. this is her second home .. this is where she can be who she wants to be .. this is where she met unforgettable friends .. friends who will stand by her no matter what .. friends who never fail to cheer her up no matter what .. friends who she trusts with her life .. friends who will have to be seperated to due the closing .. someone told her that there will be a second interview with wilson to decide who stays and who goes .. but samantha doesn't want that .. she doesn't like big changes .. most of them are still schooling and they don't have the time and energy to look for another job let alone learn new things .. haiz ..

[ why can't they reconsider this decision .. ]

[ wheelock / china square / quit ]

2009-06-03T00:16:00.002+08:00

samantha feels really tired : non-stop working is really getting to her ..

samantha feels irritated : she didn't get the thing she wanted ..

samantha feels insignificant : don't ask ..

samantha feels like trying something new and dangerous : hmm ..

[ need a listening ear ? need a shoulder to cry on ? need to vent your anger ? or just someone to sit and be silent with you ? well you've come to the right person :) .. samantha guarantees a listening ear , shoulder , punching bag and silence as and when you need .. 24 hours a day , 7 days a week , 365 days a year , anytime , anywhere .. advice given only when requested .. dial 9******3 now to try out this new product brought to you by wong incorporated ]

2009-06-01T00:49:00.001+08:00

you belong with me - taylor swift

2009-05-28T23:40:00.003+08:00

samantha feels loved : peiqi came down to accompany her eat lunch , carene also came down to accompany her eat lunch , lingling came down to check whether she ate dinner or not ..

samantha feels proud of herself : she learnt how to do closing today ..

samantha feels happy : peiqi helped her come up with a new signature ..

samantha feels bored : work is becoming monotonous to her but no work = no money ..

samantha feels lost : she can't seem to feel Him anymore ..

samantha feels frustrated : she wears her heart on her sleeve and lets everyone know what she's feeling ..

samantha feels sad : someone she knows is feeling down but she can't do anything about it ..

samantha feels torn : there's something that she's dying to say but can't ..

alot of emotions for a heart the size of her fist haha ..

2009-05-27T22:23:00.003+08:00

WONG WAI MUN SAMANTHA HAS OFFICIALLY GRADUATED FROM SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC WITH A DIPLOMA IN CHEMICAL PROCESS TECHNOLOGY (FOOD TECHNOLOGY) AS OF 27 MAY 2009

2009-05-27T01:02:00.000+08:00

oh God .. help me ..

2009-05-27T00:16:00.003+08:00

do you know how much my heart hurts when i saw your blog post ? it's as if you're getting ready for a breakdown and i can't do anything about it .. i want to listen to your problems .. those that you tell felicia , peiqi , wanyee .. and not me .. are you thinking that because i'm not truthful towards you , you can't be truthful towards me ? you don't know how much i want to tell you the truth .. i have feelings for you that i can't say out .. my heart skips a beat whenever i see you walking towards TPS .. my body burns whenever you're near me .. i find myself stealing glaces at you .. i don't want to destroy a friendship like i did before .. yes peiqi says that you may not mind .. you may even brush it off and we can continue being friends like nothing happened .. but i'm not going to risk all that just so that you can know the truth .. want to know the real reasons why i'm always so angry or emotional whenever you're near me ? because i'm jealous that others have the time to accompany you and i don't .. because i care so much about you and yet it's like my advice always falls on deaf ears .. and most of all because i fell for you when i'm not supposed to .. i love Him and i like you too that's why i'm confused .. that's why i rather avoid you than see you .. that's why i don't like making eye contact with you .. do you know that i'm seriously considering leaving TPS ? because i don't want to see you .. because i don't want to keep falling in love with you .. and most of all i don't want to keep seeing you having fun with others while i work .. because that person next to you is not me .. i want to be the one who you pour out all your problems to .. i want to be the one who sends you home everyday .. i want to be the one that you sing all your love songs to .. i want to be the one who will always be there for you .. i want to be yours .. so many oppurtunities came and went .. to tell you how i felt but i didn't take them .. because i know i can't .. because i'm not supposed to be feeling this way .. and because you deserve better .. don't ask me what i like about you because i have never been able to answer this kind question no matter who asks .. i just do and will always until God helps me to forget about you .. from now till then , BLANK , my feelings toward you is 100% alive and will not fade no matter what ..

2009-05-26T00:13:00.003+08:00

what have i done .. make them worried then make them go home late .. what have i done .. there really was nothing going on .. REALLY .. what can i say to make you all convinced ? why can't you all accept my answer and go home ? i'm really sorry for making you all worried but i just wanted to be by myself for awhile THAT'S ALL .. [ note to self : only emo when no one notices that i'm gone ]

2009-05-21T00:23:00.002+08:00

1,2,3,4 by Plain White T's

1-2-1-2-3-4
Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make it all better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
Its as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
You’re the best that I’ve had
And I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
It’s easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
(I love you) I love you
You make it easy
It’s easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
(I love you) I love you
1-2-3-4
I love you
(I love you) I love you

2009-05-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY LILING !!

2009-05-10T00:38:00.002+08:00

4th May 2009

got our graduation robe ~ long long thingy .. went bugis get chingyee present ~ a bottle of perfume after smelling don't know how many bottles .. nose spoil already -_- .. we had a bbq at chingyee's place and her dog totally made some of them scream XD .. nice doggy but abit too big lah haha .. bought cake for chingyee , terrance and ruisheng .. had a treasure hunt and all of us were stuck at the last clue -_- .. wandering around lost after running around her condo like mad people XD .. went home after that .. really tired ..

5th May 2009

had diarrhoea and vomitted -_- must be bbq .. lucky didn't give away night shift ..

8th May 2009

another bbq at peiqi house ~ .. reached there and played indian poker ~ .. ruijun and i got drunk -_- .. and ruijun YOU were more drunk than me lor !! keep saying you're not -_- .. end up ruijun and carene overnight at peiqi place also .. totally didn't sleep till they left the next morning .. oh yea had diarrhoea again -_-

9th May 2009

went back home to bathe then straight to work .. yini was totally nua-ing there still wanna take meixuan night shift tsk tsk .. rushed to sentosa to have ANOTHER bbq but this time no diarrhoea so far -_- .. went back to tps to get my stuff and end up stay till 11 plus .. tomorrow got church and drumming some more .. i buay tahan liao ..

next week schedule see liao i wanna cry -_- .. four days straight split shift .. no choice bah yini not here and the others not free .. more money for me at the end of the month though :) .. jiayou le !!

2009-05-08T01:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHINGYEE !!

2009-05-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIQI AND GRACE !!

2009-05-01T00:44:00.002+08:00

do you care about how i feel ?! do you KNOW what i'm feeling ?! do you realise that i have so little time with my colleagues already and yet you're still taking what time i have left AWAY ?! do you know that the only time i can talk to them is after work AT NIGHT ?! you think that my work is the same as yours ?! sit in the air con office the whole day and be able to find time to talk to each other ?! i'm already NOT taking any money from you and yet you still complain how i spend it ?! did you PAUSE to think about WHY i would rather stay out late then come home ?! the only times i stay out late is on fridays or public holidays WHEN I HAVE NOTHING ON THE NEXT DAY !! do you realise how much time you have taken away from me just so that you can SEE me at home ?! you think i ENJOY being at home ?! all i do is online and watch tv !! i would rather get locked out again and again just so i can spend time with my friends !! i'm seriously pissed at you right now and i know you can feel it !! or do you want me to be more OBVIOUS ?! all i want is to be able to stay out late and come home at any time i want !! IS THAT SO HARD ?!!!! i'm 20 years of age for crying out loud !! and i have freaking CURFEW of 11 pm ?! what can i do to make you believe NOTHING is going to happen to me ?! singapore is so BLOODY safe !! i know how to take care of myself !! your way of caring for me outdated itself a few years ago !! i just want to spend time with my friends !! URGH !!

2009-04-25T04:55:00.002+08:00

hmm i'm kinda at peiqi's house now XD .. carene's here with us too but i feel kinda bad for disturbing the two of them .. both had long days yet still had to entertain me -_- .. carene still have to work afternoon shift tmr .. maybe i should have just rotted outside my house till my mum opened the door .. i owe them a big one .. [ thanks peiqi for graciously opening up your house for me :) thanks carene for coming down to accompany us :) ]

2009-04-22T01:06:00.003+08:00

i promise myself :
to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
to talk health , happiness , and prosperity to every person i meet.
to make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
to look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
to think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as i am about my own.
to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
to wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature i meet.
to give so much time to improving myself that i have no time to criticize others.
to be too large for worry , too noble for anger , too strong for fear , and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
to think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world , not in loud words , but in great deeds.
to live in the faith that the whole world is on my side , so long as i am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson

2009-04-21T23:59:00.004+08:00

so hogging my brother's laptop now since he's not using XD i'm glad he's so kind ~ haha .. oh yea sorry i haven't uploaded the photos in facebook yet cause i really need my laptop back first before i can do that so bear with me a little while more :) [ no peiqi i'm not hinting you to return asap i seriously am NOT .. ] got to go wheelock and work yesterday and it's really a new experience :s .. i don't really know how to describe it but let's just say i prefer tiong much MUCH better hee hee :p .. hmm everyone's in school besides me !! nowadays meeting yifang , niuli and jiayu to study with them [ actually i'm just reading my book -_- ] then at tps , peiqi and carene are studying also -_- .. like omg .. stressed can and i'm not even studying !! i feel like my brain is dead DEAD .. been working non-stop these two months [ except for the one week holiday ] and will continue doing this till july !! like fabulous -_- ..

i've been bouncing around telling others that i'm graduating in may but it hasn't seem to hit me yet .. and i don't think it will till we get the robe XD .. three years of poly ending just like that !! all for just a piece of paper :O .. we'll be going our seperate ways soon [ as if we're not seperate enough already -_- ] .. university , work and for me bitc .. oh well .. i'll invite you all to my cake shop's grand opening :p better be waiting patiently for it haha ..

hmm something's changing in me .. i know what's happening this time and i'm gonna change it !! irritating person i'm becoming -_- .. must get over it ragh ..

2009-04-16T14:56:00.001+08:00

林俊杰 - 小酒窝（feat.蔡卓妍）

我还在寻找

一个依靠

和一个拥抱

谁替我祈祷

替我烦恼

为我生气为我闹

幸福开始有预兆

缘分让我们慢慢紧靠

然后孤单被吞没了

无聊变得有话聊

有变化了

小酒窝

长睫毛

是你最美的记号

我每天睡不着

想念你的微笑

你不知道

你对我多么重要

有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝

长睫毛

迷人的无可救药

我放慢了步调

感觉像是喝醉了

终于找到

心有灵犀的美好

一辈子暖暖的好

我永远爱你到老

幸福开始有预兆

缘分让我们慢慢紧靠

然后孤单被吞没了

无聊变得有话聊

有变化了

小酒窝

长睫毛

是你最美的记号

我每天睡不着

想念你的微笑

你不知道

你对我多么重要

有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝

长睫毛

迷人的无可救药

我放慢了步调

感觉像是喝醉了

终于找到

心有灵犀的美好

一辈子暖暖的好

我永远爱你到老

小酒窝

长睫毛

迷人的无可救药

我放慢了步调

感觉像是喝醉了

终于找到

心有灵犀的美好

一辈子暖暖的好

我永远爱你到老

2009-04-16T13:49:00.003+08:00

ahh finally got time to blog !! -_- .. back from taiwan and hk and finally have space to breathe XD i don't think i'm gonna type out all we did cuz i seriously don't remember much now [ stm :p ] but i'll upload the photos soon [ like when my brother comes back with the card reader -_- ] and like peiqi said : a picture speaks a thousand words !! so yea check back soon for the photos but the majority will be on facebook XD .. main point of the trip is to shop , shop AND shop i guess .. non-stop for 6 days !! power lah we all haha .. i enjoyed myself and i really miss them !! XD we'll see each other on 30 april to collect our graduation gowns :)

14 april 2009

baked cupcakes for peiqi :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARILYN

15 april 2009

morning shift --> rushed to bedok to meet carene --> rushed back to tiong to get card from geraldine --> rushed to jurong point to eat kushiin bo buffet to celebrate marilyn birthday [ nice ~ ] --> rushed to bukit batok --> took bus to peiqi house to meet her --> talked till 3am --> took cab home when all my brain cells died [ hectic day but i enjoyed myself :) ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEIQI

2009-04-05T20:20:00.003+08:00

[ sorry for making you all tilt your head but yea XD look at her crazy -_- oh yea peiqi don't forget your circle line .. next time photos are on you XD ]

2009-04-05T02:18:00.004+08:00

i HATE it when people play pranks on me .. and you know why ? the person gets a kick out of laughing their lungs out while the victim gets embarrassed and angry .. is there much excitement watching others suffer ? i genuinely thought you were caught in the rain somewhere and getting soaked to the skin .. how were you going to work later ? what if the rain didn't stop ? seriously i tried my best to think of where you were and yet you kept insisting it was at a place where i have NEVER heard of -_-" .. finally you gave me name of a shop nearby and WITH shelter !! WTF ?! you were practically STANDING outside the door ? i honestly wanted to slam the phone down already but something was tugging at my heart .. what if you were REALLY getting wet ? fine i'll just humour you awhile and even brought umbrellas !! THREE TO BE EXACT !! even though i knew you could WALK back to tps nice and dry I STILL WENT .. and you know why ? CAUSE I FRIGGING CARED !! do you know how idiotic i felt ?! i just wanted to THROW the umbrellas at your FACES but i'm a civilised person so i turned and walked back .. with you all laughing at my back [ hurrah *claps in joy* ] did you notice i wasn't even LOOKING at you all when you reached tps ? i was trying my best to NOT burst out and that's why i disappeared .. you should be thanking your FEW lucky stars that i didn't start shouting .. seriously what a waste of my emotions .. bet you wouldn't even have found out that i was angry if she didn't tell you !! how DUMB can i get -_- ..

DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO TO YOU !!

2009-04-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

carene , peiqi and i were at joo koon !! but apparently only carene appears on my photos :p

NONE FIVE TEN FIFTEEN TWENTY TWENTY-FIVE THIRTY !!

[ we play more when i get back ok ? :) ]

2009-03-31T13:22:00.005+08:00

wheeeeeee !! first time TPS people come my house and wreck havoc XD they came over about 12 plus and we got started with the cake for cindy .. not bad leh they all can bake cake de :) quite easy right ? just follow instructions XD .. meixuan ended up playing mahjong with my mum and her friends whom i forgot were having mahjong session -_- .. but she used all her winnings to buy cindy's present !! *pats meixuan on the back* quite lucky ah she keep winning haha .. peiqi , carene and i were fiddling with my guitar .. playing song after song cuz we were so bored .. [ eh eh form band ah XD ] we finished the cake and rushed down to tps end up i late XD lucky the stupid machine don't let me punch in kekekeke :p .. anyway finally it was closing time and people starting pouring in !! cindy was like " today is what special day ah ? " XD the kitchen crew graciously cooked dinner for us and finally the cake made its appearance .. just hope cindy liked the cake and the necklace we got her haha XD .. alcohol started turning up and yea i drank quite abit -_- but i wasn't drunk just HIGH tsk tsk .. was being rebellious last night and didn't want to go home early and so yes i sent meiqi home alone AGAIN !! wth !! i can't stand myself sometimes -_- [ sorry meiqi !! ] so anyway , me , peiqi , carene and meixuan went to sit outside 7-11 and play truth or dare XD .. it was damn funny looking at how meixuan "suffered" hahaha .. used up all her luck during the day's mahjong session right ? keep tio-ing her sway lah XD .. still she seemed to like it ALOT tsk tsk :p yea reach home at 5am first time i stay out till THAT late .. lucky mum never wake up when i open door :p .. fell asleep with questions in my head and woke up with the same questions .. they never seem to go away -_- .. ever ..

[ cindy's cake !! ]
[ hmm sipei XD ]
[ scissors paper STONE !! ]
[ ahhh my hand still blue black lah :s ]

[ two little high people sucking lemons XD ]